Day to Day

Just wanted to give everyone a quick update, we are all doing fine, im working all the time again but I did break down and take a personal day for this Sunday so I can go with my hubby to the Indianapolis Brickyard. The boys are doing good and JJ is back to work, his knee is healing from his little stunt over the 4th. Anyways we are all happy and enjoying summer...Peace.

Jordan Update...

Just wanted to update everyone on how Jordan is doing, as you know he left for basic training about 3 weels ago, I recieved a letter from him yesterday and he seems to be doing well. He has passed his certification class to become a combat life saver he is also now certified as a field medic. He passed his Nuclear Biological Chemical training and will be going through the gas chamber on July 21st. He said he spends alot of time on the obstacle course and in combatives.

He sounds like it is getting a little easier and he said that they are not always getting yelled at like they did in the begining. JJ and I are so very proud of him...Peace.

Oh Well

I am back to work after a wonderful 17 day vacation, I loved the time off, I felt as if I reconnected with my husband and my son's. Jordan my oldest left for basic training, it was kind of bitter sweet. He had so many problems through out high school and when he decided to enlist it was as if he did a complete 360 and started living his life and straightening up. It's hard to let go of any of your children but watching Jordan walk into that armory ripped my heart. He is my first born, he and I spent the first few years of his life with just the two of us. I felt it strange that my giving birth to him changed my life and made me clean up my act and now I was watching him better himself and clean up his act.

I will write more later...Peace.

Quick update

I know that it has been awhile, but I am on a 2 week shut down at work so im staying very busy at home with the kids and hubby and some serious house cleaning. I just wanted to leave a note to let everyone know that I am still alive (lol) and I will post a blog soon. Peace...Joanna

FATHERS DAY

Today is the day we celebrate fathers, or dad's, so I want to tell you about the greatest father that I know...he is not my father, he is my childrens father.

I thank God everyday for JJ. He is a great father, a great husband, and an all around great guy. I LOVE YOU HONEY!!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY

I Get So Mad...

Sometimes, things that I have absolutely no control over totally just piss me off. This morning was one of those times.

"Mouse" is one of my dogs... He is the alpha male of the 3. He is 10 years old and we have had him since he was 6 weeks old. He was the first pet and he rules the house, (so he thinks) anyways, Mouse is getting up there in age so he is getting a little slower, but bless his heart, he still plays with the other dogs like a puppy would. This morning around 5:30am when I was getting home from work I let him outside, I don't usually have a problem with Mouse leaving the yard ( every once n' awhile he takes off, but he never goes far.) This morning for some reason when I went to let him in he was not at the back door like he would normally be. I called for him and called for him but he didn't come. I started to get a little worried so I went and woke JJ up and told him that Mouse had ran off and hadn't come back when I called him. Of course JJ got up and went out and hollered for him...still no Mouse. At this point I'm beginning to get upset, all these bad thoughts go through your head about what might be happening to him, it was terrible.

JJ decided to jump in the van and go looking for him but within 5 or 10 minutes he was back with no dog. When I asked him why he came back he told me that we just couldn't afford the gas to drive around looking for the dog. OMG, I was so angry, Not at JJ, I was angry at our government and whoever else controls the gas prices. For crying out loud I thought we lived in the "Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave." What is going on with our government when gas prices have gone so high that a 2 income family cant afford the gas to go looking for their missing dog? The United States is suppose to be "The land of Opportunity" Not the the " Land of Stealing from the People that are just trying to live."

The big controversy right now is finding out who is to blame for these rising gas prices, everyone is pointing the finger at someone else. Well my solution is, "Lets quit pointing the finger and work together to fix it." And believe me when I say, "I have one particular finger that I would like to point at someone every time I put gas in my vehicle!!!!!!"

Well to make a long story short, Mouse did find his way home about 4 hours after he took off, thank goodness. And I believe he might have had a good adventure because when he got home he was hyper and happy and covered in mud and dirt and something else that smelt real funky. I was so happy to see him. On a safe note we have now invested in a dog chain. LOL Peace.

Fun survey about Me

Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend?
I will keep my hubby

How many texts are in your inbox?
It's always full

When did your last hug take place?
JJ hugged me right before I left for work tonight.

Are you a jealous person?
I would like to say no, but that is probably not true so I guess it depends on the situation.

Are you tired right now?
I am always tired, I dont remember the last time I wasnt tired.

Do you chew on your straws?
Not that I can recall.

Have you ever been called a tease?
Sure, who hasnt?

Do you lead people on?
Not intentionally

Do you like to cuddle?
Im a big time spooner, I love it.

Do you cry easily?
Not really, I dont like to cry.

What should you be doing right now?
Walking the floor and checking on my employee's

Are you a heavy sleeper?
Nope, im up every hour usually.

Where is your phone?
In my pocket

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months?
Ive lasted 11 years and love every second of it.

Are you mad at someone right now?
Not that I can think of.

Do you believe in love?
Most definatley.

Have you ever stayed up all night while drunk?
Yeah, but it was nothing to brag about.

What makes you laugh no matter what?
Trevor

Who was the last person you talked to?
I just talked to some people on a smoke break.

Name one person who is the most like you?
Quaide

Do you get butterflies around the person you like?
Every second im with him.

Will you get married?
I am married to the man of my dreams now.

When was the last time you smiled?
A few minutes ago. I love the people I work with.

Does anyone like you?
I hope so

Do you secretly like someone?
Not secretly, If I like you, I will tell you.

Who was the first person you talked to today?
JJ

Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?
JJ, he is my best friend.

What are you NOT looking forward to?
My boy's growing up.

Where did you sleep last night?
I worked.

Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you, and meant it?
Yep, and im pretty sure he means it.

Do you plan on moving out within the next year?
Nope, I love my house.

Are you a forgiving person?
Yes, sometimes maybe too forgiving.

What's something you really want right now?
A vacation.

Do you fall for people easily?
No, I can pretty much read people and tell from the get go if im gonna like em'

What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
Honey mustard flavored pretzel.

Who was the last person you drove with?
I beleive Jordan

Would you ever kiss the last person you kissed again?
I would kiss him every sec of the day if that was possible.

How late did you stay up last night and why?
8 am this morning when I got off work.

Who were the last 3 people to text you?
Loree, Trevor, Quaide

If you could move somewhere else, would you?
I doubt it. Tennessee maybe..

Do you prefer to call or text?
Text, im not one for talking on the phone.

When was the last time you cried really, really hard?
It's been awhile, dont care to remember.

Who was the last person you took a picture of?
Delilah my Diva dog.... She is people to meeeeeeeee.

Can you live a day without TV?
Im a reality junkie so I would have to say NO

What is your ring tone?
Depends on who is calling.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY 6/7/08

It was 11 years ago today when I made the best decision of my life. JJ and I are celebrating our 11 year wedding annivarsary today. (Or after I get home from work) 11 years, who would of thought?

Alot of people thought that he and I would never make it, boy did we prove them wrong. Remember when you first start dating someone that you totaly are into? Remember that feeling you got in the pit of your stomach? The butterflies that seemed to fly around inside of you every time you knew that special someone was coming to see you? Remember how fast your heart would beat at the thought of his touch, or the excitment you felt knowing that he could be the one? All of these feelings are something that I still feel with JJ. I still feel the butterflies when I know it's almost time for him to come home, and the rapid beats of my heart when he reaches out to touch me. And most of all I still feel the excitment at the thought of spending the rest of my life with him.
The past 11 years have not been without difficulty, we've had our issues and our up's and down's. Some big, some small and some huge. But the end result was always to be together, to love and support one another. JJ is like breathing, without him I could not be, he is my life, my heart, and my world. I love him as much today as I did 11 years ago and I will love him as much 11 years from now as I do today!!

QUAIDE'S 14TH BIRTHDAY

For the past 6 months Quaide has been telling his father and I that he wants to go to Hooters for his birthday, (What 13 year old boy dosnt?) Well this past Saturday Quaide turned 14 so we went ahead and took him. It is a family restaurant, they have good food and we thought it would be fun for Quaide. Let me just say it was fun for all of us. The "Hooter girls" sang to Quaide but there was a catch, he had to stand up with them while they sang and shake his booty, if he stopped they would start all over again. OMG it was soooo funny, Quaide was so embarrassed. I think it is one of the Birthday's that Quaide will remember forever. 14, my baby is growing up so fast.

Jordan's Graduation

This past Friday was a major life changing event for my son Jordan, im sure he dosnt know it yet but it was the start of a new chapter in his life. He graduated from high school. JJ and I were so proud...there was a point in Jordan's life a few years back that we thought would push him downward instead of towards his future, he proved us wrong (thank god) and we watched him walk across the stage Friday and recieve his diploma. It was a great moment. I looked at JJ as we sat there watching evryone cross the stage and I told him, "You know, I can still remember Jordan's first day of kindergarten. I remember him getting on that big yellow bus and how tiny he looked." I've come to the realization that Jordan will never be a rocket scientist, he will never cure some crazy disease, and most likely he wont be president of the United States. But im proud of him know matter what he does. Whatever Jordan decides to be in life, I know he will be great at it because failing is not an option in his world. WE LOVE YOU JORDAN!!!!

ROUGH WEEK

This week for some reason has been unusually rough on me. Maybe because im coming off a 4 day weekend, or maybe because JJ is on the road (he is suppose to be a local driver...ha). All I know is that im back at work, my kids are driving me crazy and I miss my husband. Not to mention the stress of Having to work plus attend all of Jordans pre-graduation stuff (He graduates high school Friday night, im so proud) Than to top it all off I wont even get to enjoy his graduation because as soon as it's over I have to go into work.

Quaide's birthday is Saturday, he is going to be the big "14" You will never guess what he wants to do...Go to Hooters. HaHa I think we will take him, after all it is a family restaurant. Oh yeah and did I tell ya? I have to work Saturday night too...I have a bad feeling that summer is gonna suck for me.

Memorial Weekend

I'm at work, its 2:50am and for once everything seems to be running good that means I have a little extra time. I'm excited for the weekend, it's memorial weekend and some how I managed to get 4 days off in a row. I havnt had more than 1 day off in months. I would like to say that I am going to spend the time catching up on house work, or updating my pics on the internet. But I know that no matter what I say im going to do the chances of my actually doing them are pretty slim. For once I just want to rest. I want to talk to my boys, play with my animals, and snuggle with my hubby...

I MISS HIM...

The miles between us,Seem ever so long,But while you're out there,I have to stay strong.
It seems so hard, Not having you near, But I have to remember, Soon you will be here.
The days seem so long, The road seems to never end, The voices on the radio Are your only friend.
Into the endless sky, As the truck roles on,I know you're thinking of me, All the time that you're gone.
The kids they miss you, And can't wait for your return, To play baseball and games,From you it's these things they learn.
I can't wait for you to hold me, Your arms around me so tight, Just to be close to you, The feeling of loneliness I have to fight.
I worry about you out there alone With the hazards that follow you As you travel down the road, I know you're thinking about them too.
I can't wait for you to come home, To see your smiling face, Please remember I love you,And I'm with you in every place.
I hope you will always know, That I am so proud to be your wife, And knowing that trucking Helps fulfill your life.
Every mile behind you, Is one less you have to go, Cause every mile traveled,Brings you closer to home.

Hey There Delilah...

I want to introduce everyone to Delilah, I got her on my birthday this past April 26, she is now 10 weeks old. I have always had this soft spot for animals, any kind, I guess because I know that they cant speak for themselves. My feelings towards animals has become so passionate that I cant even watch that commercial on TV anymore, you know the one that shows all of the abandoned or abused dogs and cats it just tears my heart up. Anyways for those of you that know me you know that I am a huge garage sale fanatic well the Saturday of my Birthday JJ and I were out garage saleing and we stopped at this one that had a sign " Free Puppies" I just wanted to look at them, I realy had no intention of getting one. The owner took us around to this fenced in box type thing ( I have no idea what it was) and all I could see was this tail sticking out from inside the box and you could tell that the pup was just terrified because it's tail was shaking so fast, not wagging, shaking. The guy pulled this pup out and of course she immediatly pee'd on him and he told us that she was the only one left out of 10 puppies, he said nobody wanted her because she was the runt. It took me a whole 3 seconds to decide I wanted her, unfortunatley JJ was a little harder to convince.

JJ was worried about Mouse and Millo, our 2 male inside dogs and

Sylvester, our very mean male cat. I convinced him that if he let me get her that she would be an outside dog (she is going to be very large) He finaly gave in and let me take her. When we got her to the house she was just petrified. I took her inside and she did the cutest thing, she saw her reflection in the stove and got all excited and started looking behind the stove because she thought there was another puppy back there and then she realy got excited when I let the other dogs around her.

It's been 2 weeks since I got her and she just completely cracks me up on a daily basis. She is very clumsy, her paws are huge. She wants to play all the time and of course the house dogs being old n' grumpy want nothing to do with her playing. The cat layed into her one time so she tends to try to avoid him. The kids find her irritating since they cant lay on the floor with out her nipping at them or chewing on their hair. If you havnt guessed, I have her in the house alot which makes JJ crazy because he dished out money for a large outside kennel and then spent an entire Saturday building her a dog house which she loves when she's out there. So the household verdict is Delilah (I liked the name) drives everyone crazy but I cant get enough of her...I love her!

MOTHERS DAY

Today is Mother's Day, it is the day to celebrate all Mothers. In the dictionary the definition for mothers day is, "A day set aside in honor of Mothers." In my house "Mother's Day" is almost like any other day, of course my husband and kids still wish me a happy day, and it is probably the only time of the year that my boys dont gross out at the the thought of kissing me, (teenagers lol) but it's not like the days when the kids were younger and they would bring me their homemade presents they made in school.

Mothers day now for me is more about me remembering my children and how far they have came and how much they have accomplished over the years. It is amazing how fast kids grow up. I can still remember giving birth to each one of them, ( and beleive me after all of these years the memories still are not pleasant. LOL) Sometimes I miss them being babies and needing me so much but other times I realize that I enjoy having semi adult conversations with them and I guess the fact is that no matter how grown they get they will always need their mom in some way...I just hope they know I will always be there when they need me. Peace!!

LIFE IS LIKE A TREE AHEAD OF YOU, IT'S EASY TO GO AROUND, BUT IT HURTS LIKE HELL TO RUN INTO.

Stressing out seems to be the story of my life lately. I have these 3 great kids and a husband that I adore, I have a good job that I actualy enjoy going too. ( For those of you who dont know, I am a supervisor in a factory, I have 21 people on my shift and I like every one of them, they make going to work so much easier.) So why have I been feeling so miserable lately? The answer came to me today...

JJ and I were arguing on the phone today, at one point we were yelling so much that he actually hung up the phone on me (which by the way infuriates me). I hate to fight with JJ, we dont do it very often maybe once or twice a year at the most, but when we do fight and argue they are doosies. Anyways, we were arguing over the phone about some things that had been happening with the kids recently ( that is another blog in itself ) We were on the phone because JJ is on the road. Maybe once every couple of months he has to go out on an overnight or sometimes week long run, other than that he is usually home every night. This morning he left for Iowa and wont be back until Saturday. I hate it when JJ is gone, I love having him home with me, I love every minute we get to spend together so when he does have to leave it makes my heart ache. ( I know that sounds mushy and immature, but it's true)

Any who....Some where during the argument I just started flipping out about nobody understanding how I feel, and nobody caring about my life outside of the house. It was weird, Why these words started coming out of my mouth is beyond me and then it hit me. Everybody know's me as JJ's wife or Jordan, Trevor, and Quaides mom. I realized that somewhere along the way I lost me and my personal identity. Dont get me wrong, I love being JJ's wife and I love being the boys mom but Ive come to the conclusion that I also need to be able to be Joanna every once in awhile.

JJ, being the awesome husband that he is, understood what I was saying for the most part, and after all the yelling and a few tears he and I made up.

It is an awful feeling to have when you realize that your existance in life is based on being thought of as something else other than yourself, being a mother and wife is one of the most fullfilling and rewarding life events but losing yourself in the process is heart wrenching. I like me most of the time, and I like who I am and what I do, now I just have to incorporate that into my home life. And believe me, I will. That is where the tree comes in, I've spent all this time driving around it to be safe, but today I drove right into it and it hurt like hell when I realized that it's my own fault for not being what I could be...Peace.

Me and My Guy

Very few moments pass in my day that im not thinking about JJ. With our hectic schedules and all the activities that surround us with the kids, it's very seldom that he and I get any quality time with eachother. Most days he is coming in from work about the same time I am leaving for work and it's a quick kiss and hug and then goodbye. As much as I hate the fact that we seldom spend time together I have learned to treasure the moments we do have, and of course thank heavan for cell phones because most days that is our only form of communication.

JJ is one of the most important people in my life, He still takes my breath away every time he walks into a room, I still get butterfly's when he reaches out to hold my hand...11 years of marriage and I still feel the goose bumps and excitement when I know he will soon be home.

We have had our problems, some worse than others, but I just couldnt imagine my life with out him. He is not only my husband, He is my best friend.

The Prom

This past Saturday was a big day in my house, Jordan and Trevor attended their high school prom. I watched as they both hustled around getting ready, making sure that every hair was in place and splashing on just the right amount of cologne. It was realy quite comical. When they both came down dressed in their tux's it hit me... My boys are growing up. I still remember putting them on the bus for their first day of kindergarten. Where has the time gone? Why do my kids look so much older but I feel the same as I did when I watched them climb the steps on that big yellow bus for the first time? I felt the same feeling as tears rolled down my face when they walked out the door to pick up their dates as I did the day tears rolled down my face as bus drove away on their first day of school.

Trevor n' Jordan

O.K. I never claimed to be one of those "Carol Brady" kind of mom's. I think im pretty open minded and I believe in my kid's making their own decisions with a little guidance from their dad and I. That's why when Jordan and Trevor came to me and told me that they wanted to get tattoo's I decided to let them. Jordan already has 3 or 4 tattoo's, he's 18 and lives on his own, it's his body and his choice. Trevor on the other hand is only 17 and lives at home and as far as I can tell he's a pretty straight forward, level headed 17 year old.

I knew that Trevor would eventualy get a tattoo, he has been talking about it for a couple years now so I decided to be safe I would take him to have it done this way I know it's done professionaly instead of in one of his friends basement with a home made needle.

This pic was taken when we first got there, Trev was all laughs, he had no idea the pain that he was getting ready to endure.

As you can tell by the look on his face it hurt, it hurt bad. I think if his girlfriend had not been there he might have passed out...lol.

As you can see the final result turned out really well. The tattoo is the Chinese Symbols meaning "Fearless"

Old Blogs I brought from another site.

Entry for April 27, 2008
Well, I made it through another year. Birthday's usually suck, depending on how old you are turning, But this year was a little different for me...I didnt dwell on the age I was turning (38 for those of you who dont know.) I thought about what I have gained in the past years and the blessings that have been bestowed on me in my life.
I have these 3 amazing children. I dont mean amazing as in they are curing world hunger, I mean amazing as in they have accomplished so much more at their ages than I ever did when I was their age.
Jordan is going to be 19 this year, he is leaving for basic training in June, he is excited about his future, and im excited for him. When I was his age I had him, I was a single mom living on welfare wondering daily if I would be able to feed him. Times they r' a changin.
Trevor is 17 he is on high honor roll and he is one of the lead performers with the school show choir he is really talented. He is already looking into colleges and determined to own his own bussiness and be very successful. I unforunatley at that age rarely made it to school and was all about where the next party was gonna be. That's how it was in the 80's.
Quaide will be 14 in May. Now he is my only child that reminds me a little of how I was at his age. He is very emotional and everything he does is from his heart. He also has no interest in school and thinks about nothing but girls. He is my typical teenager.
I also have this great husband. Don't get me wrong, he is far from perfect and he alot of times drives me totaly nuts but he has totaly proven to me that he is here for me. Everyday our love gets stronger and after 10 years I could never imagine being able to love someone else as much as I love him. He truely is the love of my life.
So you see, It is not about the age you turn but about the life you have lived. Minus a few up and downs I have lived a good life thus far, and I plan to live another 38 great years.

Old Blogs I brought from another site.

Entry for April 16, 2008

I had this crazy flashback of my own child hood today. My 13 year old son was having a major melt down and of course I was the enemy. As he stood there in front of my crying with tears running down his face telling me that I would never understand how he was feeling or what he was going through it made me realize that I had the same melt down 25 years ago with my own mother. Isnt life ironic it's as if I came full circle with myself in that moment. I knew how he was feeling and I remember how I thought my parents were horrible and would never understand me so in that instant I decided that no matter what I said it probably would not make a difference to him so I decided to just grab on to him and hug him until he calmed down. What an effect that had the smile he gave me was worth everything.

Past, Present, Future

Sometimes it is hard to see the most important things in your life. Changes happen and you either learn to adjust with them or you spend the rest of your life fighting them. Over the past few years I have learned that what I experince daily are the things that I am going to treasure. I am not going to worry about what happened yesterday and im not going to think about what might happen tommorrow. Im going to live in the day and whom ever is a part of that day with me will have the oppurtunity to enjoy the day as I will enjoy it.
It is easy to be negative about past mistakes and unhappiness. But it is much more healing to look at ourselves and our past in the light of experience, acceptance, and growth.
Our past is a series of lessons that advance us to higher levels of living and loving. The relationships we entered, stayed in, or ended taught us necessary lessons.
Some of us have emerged from the most painful circumstances with strong insights about who we are and what we want. Our mistakes? Necessary. Our frustrations, failures, and sometimes stumbling attempts at growth and progress? Necessary too. Each step of the way, we learned. We went through exactly the experiences we need to, to become who we are today. Each step of the way, we progressed. Is our past a mistake? No. The only mistake we can make is mistaking that for the truth.
Today, God, help me let go of negative thoughts I may be harboring about my past circumstances or relationships. I can accept, with gratitude, all that has brought me to today.